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Funny sentences:I asked God for a bike

时间:2019-05-15 09:13 来源:未知 作者:admin 阅读:次

★I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 

★I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.


★Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


★The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.


★Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.


★We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


★I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.


★Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.


★Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


★If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.


★Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 

★I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.


★Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

 

翻译:


★开始我直接求上帝赐辆自行车。 后来我琢磨上帝办事儿不是这个路数。 于是老子偷了一辆然后求上帝宽恕。


★我希望能像爷爷那样,安静地在睡梦中死去,而不要像他开的车上那些惨叫滴乘客一样死法啊!


★你永远不能战胜一个纯SB,因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他个水平,然后用丰富的经验打败你。


★吾虽不杀伯仁,伯仁由我而死。


★有些人就像 Slinkies(弹簧玩具),没什么实在用处,但看他们在楼梯上倒腾来倒腾去还是很有喜感。


★我们永远不可能真正的成熟,我们只是学会在众人面前装逼。


★曾以为我想要的是职业,结果发现我只是想要工资。


★晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头,再告诉你你为什么好不了。

 

★直译:知识就是说你知道西红柿是一种水果;智慧就好似不要把它放进水果沙拉里。

意译a:知识就是告诉你说应该把鸡蛋放进篮子,智慧则是叫你不要把所有鸡蛋都放进一个篮子。

意译b:所谓知识就是知道韩少和小四都属于80后,但智慧告诉你最终还是男女有别。

 


★上帝瞅着咱们呢,大伙好歹喜感点吧!

 

★无论,在任何情况下,永远,不要在一个夜晚,同时吃,安眠药,和通便灵。


★老子拼死拼活奋斗到食物链顶端,不是为了成为一个素食者。


★海豚可聪明了你知道不?只要驯养几个星期,它们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。

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